Ladies, Is It "Nice"?

"Is it nice?" This is a question I think we need to ask ourselves more on a regular basis. I'm talking about matters of the senses, yes the 5 senses. I happen to believe that we serve a God of beauty, creativity, and order. Being a woman, much of our 'role' has to do with the word 'nice' (not in the complacent casual sense but in the true meaning of the word - pleasant) when it comes to presentation of ourselves, our homes, and our skills for the health, happiness, and benefit of our families. So let's go over a few basics that we (including MYSELF) need to ask ourselves on a frequent basis. 1) Home - is it nice? Is it presentable? If your neighbor across the street shows up needing to borrow cinnamon (that's how it goes in our neighborhood and we like that), is the house a wreck and are you embarassed to let them in? What about JWs or Mormons who frequent homes at the most random times? Is the way our home looks a testimony to the God we serve? Or is our home messy unorganized as though we dont care about our God-given assignment of being a wife? Okay okay before you ladies give me glares and say 'but what about [...]', I'm not saying that our homes need to look perfect and every nook and cranny dusted, but what I am saying is, is your home presentable? Does it look like you care about the house (or apartment) you consider 'home'? It matters that our house is truly a home, a place of refuge and love for hard-working husbands and children in the home (or coming home from school). Our homes say a lot about who we are and where our priorities lie! And P.S. Just because you have children, doesnt mean your homes have to be forever messy. Infants dont make much of a mess and toddlers can learn (and emulate!) early on how to 'help mommy' be neat and tidy. 2) Appearance - is it nice? Now, I realize probably every single woman is going to have a slightly different definition of what she considers to be 'pretty' or 'stylish', but the main thing is - do we actually take the time to care about the way we present ourselves? It is not superficial to want to look tidy and pretty. It doesnt take gobs of money to care about our appearance. When the husband comes home or when visitors 'show up' randomly, is your hair at least combed and you have decent clothes on? A lot of people have the 'sweats [or yoga pants] and a T is good enough' mentality, but in all reality think about it - does it take any more effort to put something decent on? I can pay the same for a few casual but neat presentable clothes as I would for nighties and yoga pants and a t-shirt, it just takes a bit of thrift! How we look also says a lot about us - do we care about ourselves at all? Can we "love our neighbor as ourselves" very well if we dont even show that we take interest in our own bodies? In this category also falls the sensitive issue of weight. I'm not gonna sit here and say that weight can be dropped just like a stack of books. It is easier for some and harder for others, but the real question that only we can answer in our own minds is - am I 'letting myself go' or do I care about my health and appearance enough to make healthy selections, portion sizes, and nutrition on a regular basis? And as far as exercise goes, we dont all need to join an expensive gym. Sometimes just taking care of point #2 (Home) can help shed those extra pounds in addition to those of us chasing kids around! :) 2) Smell - does it smell nice? Yes, this can pertain first and foremost to ourselves and goes hand in hand with appearance. Personal hygiene is important. No, not all of us can afford (both time and money) the luxury of a shower or hot bath twice a day but we can still smell nice. There are stores that carry perfumes and shampoos for just a couple dollars if that and if we need to skip a shower one day, then there's corn starch that does wonders for hair and body odor! But really, it doesnt take more than 10 minutes to take care of the basics of hygiene. And without going into detail, theres many creative ways to keep the infants/young children content and safe whilst getting cleaned up. :) Also, smell when it comes to the home. Laundry AND dishes that pile up can really stink, so get to these things fairly quickly and research a few thrifty tips to make your home smell fresh and pleasant. 3) Sound - does it sound pleasant or is there too much noise? I wasnt even going to include this but I realize that this is a really important point! I'll start with the most obvious one I can think of - my voice! I once heard the quote: "A woman sets the tone for her home" and though it meant more than vocal tone, this quote has a good literal point as well! How do I talk during the day as a wife and mother? Is my tone and attitude harsh and irritable? Or do I talk sweetly and pleasantly, even in matters of disagreement or discipline? How do I talk with my husband both in front of the kids and away from the kids? Another thing about sound is background 'noise'. Am I playing loud music that is disturbing to myself and my family or is the background noise quiet and soothing? I find nothing wrong with blasting praise music that uses instruments (look up Psalm 150!), but I try to be sure its music that does indeed glorify God and I dont have it on all day long, just certain times during the day. And the same goes for the TV, is it on too loud? Is the TV/radio/iPod blasting when the hubby comes home from work? It's not very welcoming. Just a few things to think about! 4) Touch - I'll start with the best kind of touch: affection! Do we give healthy touches of love to our children and husband? Or are we stingy in this department? And when it comes to marital touch, lets not forget that our bodies are not our own but that when we said 'I do' we gave our bodies to each other to share and to love. Touch can also apply to how we feel and how our house feels. Do we take the time to put some lotion on? It truly can be soothing to our children, pleasant to our husbands, and yes soothing to ourselves too to know that we feel nice. And what about things like sheets and bedding and such? Is it fresh and soft? Let's put tenderness and gentleness into everything we do, from our attitudes to our laundry etc. 5) Food - is it nice? Now I realize food isnt just 1 sense but includes mulitiple senses. So a few things to ask is a) Is is healthy for my family b) is it frugal, yet special c) does it look appealing, is it a nice presentation and d) and the obvious one, does it taste good? These things do matter. There's a piece of wisdom my mom gave me concerning food, she remembers that growing up as a child in her parents house her mom always took the time to make food really special for the family. It looked good, smelled good, tasted good. You knew that food was one very special way she showed her love to her family and many many happy memories came from the dining room. I too would like to emulate this with my own family. I dont have to be Julia Child, but it doesnt take much beyond practice and a few good cookbooks (or just looking it up online for free) to find meals that are healthy and yummy and financially practical as well. Well, I think I've said enough and my toddler will be waking up very soon! I write this as an encouragement to all of you ladies - dont forget that your calling as a woman is a very special one! It is a pleasure and priviledge to be able to be hospitible to both family, friends, and the stranger by the way we take care in our appearance, the way we keep our homes, preparing food, etc. All of these are ways that we can bless our families and all who enter our lives. It's all part of our testimony to the beautiful, gracious, and loving LORD we serve.

Concerning Denominations...

I love Y'shua, I embrace Torah, and I'm thankful for the gifts of the Spirit and power. If that goes beyond someone's finite idea of a denomination, then oh well. I wont align my identity with a denomination. God didnt create division anyways. When it comes to denominations whether it's messianic or charismatic or others, I take the good and throw out the bad basically. I'm learning to do that with everything I learn though. I dont cut off a denomination because their theology is not exactly the same, in fact I dont identify myself any longer with any specific denomination either. This way I can be open to the voice of God within various denominations but I also can have discernment and non-bias when it comes to separating the good doctrine (and fruit!) from the bad. I think the problem when we align ourself so strictly with a denomination is that we tend to block out all the others and simply give them the blanket statement of 'your wrong!' which is dangerous because we ignore that God speaks to them too. We also risk becoming isolationists rather than working to bring His people (across denominations) to fuller knowledge of Himself and we risk being so close-minded that nothing is possible outside our denomination's 'borders'. But we must remember God put forth His Word and it is for all who desire to seek and know Him. Anyone who seeks God humbly can find Him, we musn't be like the Pharisees who make it even harder for people to know God and please Him because they have to fit 'our' mold or have the same 'revelation' we do at this time. We have to remember, it's not OUR Kingdom, we can't take ownership of it. It's HIS Kingdom.

Morning Prayer

“I am the LORD; that is my name!
I will not yield my glory to another
or my praise to idols.
See, the former things have taken place,
and new things I declare;
before they spring into being
I announce them to you.” -Isaiah 42:8-9

Father, have we been so blind as to forget that You are God alone and that You rightly deserve all glory and praise? Have we forgotten Your goodness to us, Your many kindnesses and mercies? Have we forgotten the days where we've seen Your glory in powerful ways? No, I will not forget YHWH my God who has done many great things and who is worthy of all of me, all my love and devotion and obedience and adoraction. I will magnify my God yet again because my life doesn't matter except that I know my God and please Him. Let nothing come before the love I have for the One who has loved me with an everlasting love. Let no idol steal my affections. Let me place no evil before me. But let me live out my days simply doing my best to surrender to the great I AM. He is my everything that I could ever need or hope or desire. He is God my righteousness, my salvation, my deliverer, my healer, my teacher and guide, my comforter and restorer.

I know You're not done with me, I know there is more You have me to do, more You desire to show me, deeper I can go in knowing You. But don't let my days turn stagnant. But let me ever be growing in You in knowledge and character, in the fruits of the Spirit and the gifts of the Spirit. But above all, just let me experience You and know Your presence every day. Even when my days are hectic, even when disappointments arise and life isnt perfect, I know You are my refuge and I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings. Even if its just a moment, I want to run to YOU before I run to anything or anyone else. Because I look to You from where comes my help, YHWH, the Maker of heaven and earth. I know You are near and I will call on You often. And in the busyness of this life, I know You are there and you see it all, so whether I 'feel' anything or not, let my life be pleasing to You and let my life give You glory in the big things and in the little things. In the consistancies of life and the surprises and changes too.

It's time to start my day, but go before me and be my God in this day and in every day.

It must go back to this one truth...

No matter what we try to do or who we try to be, we in and of ourselves are not enough to 'make it' in the Christian life. I keep coming back to this one simple truth - it's He who completes us. It is HE who started the good work and it is HE who will continue and finish it. The other verse that keeps coming back to me is 'He will perfect all that concerns me'. It always goes back to him, the story always goes back to HIm because He is the creator of my being, the Initiator of this love relationship with mankind. No matter how much I try, I soon stumble and become dry. I keep forgetting that all nourishment and energy and power must come from the Source. It's like Y'shua said in John 15 I think it is, "I am the vine, you are the branches". I pretty much have to cling to Him for my everything in this life, from my daily bread, to carrying out His plan and purposes in my life, to living a righteous life. It has to flow from Him, from knowing Him and from coming to Him and calling on His name.

And not only do I need Him for my everything; I need Him to BE my everything! It's called a life surrendered and it's a daily moment by moment thing.

It's like someone in a hospital on life support, they are completely dependent upon it to live and function. From a medical standpoint, they will die without it. Am I this desperate to be connected to my Source? From a spiritual standpoint, my being fails within me and I dont realize it, but Im gasping for life anew. I think its why the Psalmist David says 'Do not take your Holy Spirit from me!'. It was a cry of desperation. I am crying out for the Living God. Because I know without His presence and power in my life, I am like a dead man and I am nothing. But it is in Him, I desire to live and to move and to have my being. It must go back to this one truth - Have Your way in me; I surrender my whole being to the Living God.

It's a simple, joyful Tuesday!

So it's a Tuesday morning, my little girl is sitting on my lap, and I have the windows open and worship playing on my laptop. I'm not sure what I want to say today except for: I'm content. I'm more content in this one week than I have been in a long time. I can see the LORD working in my life clearly and his blessings are so real to me. What has caused this change in me? I don't know but I'm sure the LORD had the biggest part in my transformation. This doesnt mean life is perfect or that I've suddenly become perfectly perfected. But I'm just loving my life again. I have a renewed hope and joy, and a renewed greater interest in the things of God. It's not that I wasnt interested previously, but that I had allowed negativity to fill my mind rather than good thoughts, but I find that I'm just so much happier when I think happy thoughts! No, I'm not saying positive thinking is everything because positive thinking alone doesn't make life different. But GOD makes all the difference and I have the greatest reason to be happy - because He gives me joy in so many ways!

Learn to embrace the ice!

All right, I won't keep you all wondering what on earth my title is all about, it's merely a very simple yet profound lesson I learned back in birthing class. The instructor had us hold ice in our hands for about 30 seconds to show us how to endure a contraction. She told us not to try to make the discomfort go away, but rather to embrace it as an okay thing that won't truly hurt us. I wish I'd remembered that one during actual labor! But even moreso, I am now realizing that this applies to life in a way.

When we are trusting in God, nothing that happens in life can truly harm us. But that doesn't mean life is a breeze. After all, we were never promised an easy life. But we were promised He'd be with us and we could ask the Father for our daily bread, everything we need to love Him and carrying out His purposes. So I've established that nothing can truly harm those in Christ Jesus.

So having this confidence, what do we do when life gets uncomfortable? When situations don't go our way, or when plans change, or when people disappoint us, or what about the little annoyances of the day? It's so easy to dread and fear things and get frustrated - to want to hurry up through this difficult season, difficult task, or even difficult persons!

This is something I struggle with almost daily, wanting to just hurry up and get done what I need to during the day, looking forward to a specific part of the day or part of the week. It's so easy for me to get frustrated when plans change. It's like I have this expectation that life should go the way I envision it in my mind. Already today, my toddler has erased my writing three times. This weekend I had a change of plans that was personally frustrating. It's easy to say to myself 'I have a right to feel frustrated and be angry'. Do I? Do I have a right to have an attitude when life doesn't go my way? Actually, I dont think I do and even if by chance I do, I dont have a right to dwell in my negative emotions. This isn't productive at all! So what DO I do then? Well, God gave me emotions but if they keep me from responding in a pure manner, then I need to change my thinking.

Mostly, I need to learn to go with the flow. I don't mean go with the flow when it comes to sin or anything. I mean to learn that life is going to throw curveballs, but that God has given me everything I need to deal with life as it comes. I have the Word of God which gives me wisdom for many circumstances. I have the Holy Spirit which produces the fruit of the spirit. I have the ability to enter in to prayer and worship. And I have the mind to choose which way to go, whether for sin or for righteousness.

How am I going to respond? With anger, dread, complaining, and selfishness? Or with compassion, determination, grace, and creativity? I can handle whatever comes my way because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I know my Father provides my daily bread, everything I need for each day. So what have I to fear, nothing. I will embrace life, I won't push it away because I'm afraid to experience that which uncomfortable. How about you?

By the way, not every change that comes our way need be a difficult challenge to get all huffed about. You know the old saying 'when life throws lemons, make lemonade'? Well, sometimes life's 'lemons' aren't really that sour. It's our attitude that makes it sour. But really, we can make a lot of seemingly frustrating changes into something fun. It just takes a little creativity and a love of life. If the children are a bother, just take a break and enjoy them! They won't be little forever. If a friend calls with a problem while you're working on something, then take a break and minister love to that person! If you found out you gotta work harder or longer, do it to the best of your ability because you were the one picked for the job and you're good at it! I'm sure there are many examples I'm forgetting or that just don't apply to my personal experience, but you know what they are in your life. And what about the mundane things like cooking and cleaning and going to work and such? Why can't we have fun in these things too? It takes a bit of creavity to switch up the pace a little, but we were made with the ability to be creative because we have a creative God. Learn to look at life differently. After all, we have a faithful God. The sun comes up every morning and the sun sets every evening. Life really isn't all that bad when we know there is a God who is good and sovereign in everything. Embrace all of life, be faithful to God and to the tasks He's called you to, and dont forget to enjoy the blessings He gives you!

P.S. Speaking of putting this principle into practice, my words may not flow as well as they could, my toddler keeps interrupting. But that's life and I love it! :)

Trusting in the Nitty-Gritty of Life

It’s days like today that make me ponder just how deep my faith runs. When I say faith, I mean trust. My thoughts may be a little incoherent or out of order but please bear with me for a while. Let me first say, I love my little family. I have a great husband who helps me out to the best he knows how and I have an adorable baby girl who recently turned 1 year old. I love both dearly.

But as all of you who are parents know, parenting isn’t easy! I have to say that it’s been a long-haul with a lot of frustrations. From post-partum depression which made it difficult to bond with baby the first few months, to dealing with colic, to dealing with a 1 year old who weighs only 17 pounds, still wakes up throughout the night, and is a very picky eater/drinker – it leaves my days and nights tired. It seems like the tough phases never end.

Now on the flip side of all this, I have been learning in my Christian walk that we can have victory over our sins and over our negative feelings. God picked me to be the parent of my little flower, not somebody else. God picked me to be who I am where I am doing what He wants me to be doing. So I should be living my life victorious and not letting parenting challenges and frustrations beat me right? I’ll answer that myself – RIGHT! I totally believe this, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of every day, I don’t always live this trust out. I keep hearing phrases come out of my mouth like “I can’t do this another day” or “I don’t enjoy parenting right now” and while feelings can be legit they don’t always represent truth. God believes that I CAN do this another day and He will show me how to not only endure but enjoy the calling He has given me as a mom. Somehow I know I’ll get through these phases, even if they do come one right after the other in rapid succession. And somehow He will show me how to live victoriously each day, even on the really tough days. That’s what it means to be His – not to live under my circumstances but to push through them in confident victory knowing that I am more than able to do everything He has called me to do by the strength give to me by Him.

I hope seeing me lay out my raw struggles and thoughts can help others who are frustrated with their current life situations. We really need to learn to see how even the challenges are just a result of the blessing and calling He has for us. I feel so blessed to have given birth to a healthy beautiful child and I know one day I’m going to see this little baby turn into a lovely woman of God. How awesome that will be! But for now, I need to take it each day at a time trusting God through all of it – moment by moment!

Father, I thank You that You have given me the beautiful gift of a precious little life that is mine to nurture and train and raise in Your ways. I thank You that You have given me this calling and I know that You will give me the strength, energy, and creativity I need each day. I trust You! Father, who is in Heaven, blessed be Your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth and in my life as You will it. Give me each day my daily bread and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and power and glory forever and ever, Amein.