It’s days like today that make me ponder just how deep my faith runs. When I say faith, I mean trust. My thoughts may be a little incoherent or out of order but please bear with me for a while. Let me first say, I love my little family. I have a great husband who helps me out to the best he knows how and I have an adorable baby girl who recently turned 1 year old. I love both dearly.
But as all of you who are parents know, parenting isn’t easy! I have to say that it’s been a long-haul with a lot of frustrations. From post-partum depression which made it difficult to bond with baby the first few months, to dealing with colic, to dealing with a 1 year old who weighs only 17 pounds, still wakes up throughout the night, and is a very picky eater/drinker – it leaves my days and nights tired. It seems like the tough phases never end.
Now on the flip side of all this, I have been learning in my Christian walk that we can have victory over our sins and over our negative feelings. God picked me to be the parent of my little flower, not somebody else. God picked me to be who I am where I am doing what He wants me to be doing. So I should be living my life victorious and not letting parenting challenges and frustrations beat me right? I’ll answer that myself – RIGHT! I totally believe this, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of every day, I don’t always live this trust out. I keep hearing phrases come out of my mouth like “I can’t do this another day” or “I don’t enjoy parenting right now” and while feelings can be legit they don’t always represent truth. God believes that I CAN do this another day and He will show me how to not only endure but enjoy the calling He has given me as a mom. Somehow I know I’ll get through these phases, even if they do come one right after the other in rapid succession. And somehow He will show me how to live victoriously each day, even on the really tough days. That’s what it means to be His – not to live under my circumstances but to push through them in confident victory knowing that I am more than able to do everything He has called me to do by the strength give to me by Him.
I hope seeing me lay out my raw struggles and thoughts can help others who are frustrated with their current life situations. We really need to learn to see how even the challenges are just a result of the blessing and calling He has for us. I feel so blessed to have given birth to a healthy beautiful child and I know one day I’m going to see this little baby turn into a lovely woman of God. How awesome that will be! But for now, I need to take it each day at a time trusting God through all of it – moment by moment!
Father, I thank You that You have given me the beautiful gift of a precious little life that is mine to nurture and train and raise in Your ways. I thank You that You have given me this calling and I know that You will give me the strength, energy, and creativity I need each day. I trust You! Father, who is in Heaven, blessed be Your name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth and in my life as You will it. Give me each day my daily bread and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. For Yours is the kingdom and power and glory forever and ever, Amein.
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