I think many times as moms, we get so stuck in the routine of being housekeeper and mommy that we somewhat lose our identity. Each day holds the same pattern and challenges. The laundry keeps piling up, we have to figure out the dinner menu as well as the kid’s breakfast and lunches, we hear ‘Moooom!’ seemingly ever 10 seconds, the beds need made, the baby blows out his diaper at least twice a day, groceries need purchased, the dog still isn’t housetrained, the husband leaves sock and underwear on the floor, the kids spilled the juice and knocked over the vase (again), aaaaaaaand the list goes on!
Okay, maybe your list doesn’t quite look like that; I know mine looks a little different too. But for each of us it becomes a necessary routine and many of us can admit that at times it can be pretty mundane. In the chaos of life and the never-ending job of being a wife and mother, it is so easy to let ourselves go. Soon we discover that we’re entirely overweight and can no longer blame it on postpartum pounds or pregnancy cravings. We no longer fancy up a bit when the husband comes home. We lose all sense of style and get into the frumpy mama look. Oh, and make-up? Who has time for that? We become so engulfed and swallowed up by the routine each day that we take no thought to ourselves, to our appearance, to our health, to our general well-being.
Being a wife and mother is something most of us have dreamed about since we were little girls. And now that it’s finally happened, it’s SO much more chaotic and ‘treadmill’ like than we ever thought possible! It’s like we become resigned to the routine in such a way that we just learn to deal with it in the quickest, most efficient way possible. And in that process, we lose ourselves. But being a wife and mother is SO much more than a list of chores. It is about respecting and adoring our husbands and cherishing and nurturing our children. It takes a lot of out of us.
So I have to ask, how can we truly love our husbands and children if we are too run-down and don’t even care about our own upkeep? Our families need us and we know that all too well, so why are we burning ourselves out? We lose so much focus when we simply do the daily routine and try to get through the day.
Take a minute and think about what you’re really doing, or better why you’re doing it. It’s all because of love. But when we lose our sense of identity and purpose, then unfortunately many of our efforts are in vain. Being a mom is a hard job, but being a tired frumpy grumpy mom isn’t any help to anyone!
This isn’t a post saying to go to the spa, go on a private vacation, or going on an elaborate shopping spree, or abandoning the family. This is about refinding who you are as a wife and mother. God created us to the purpose excellence in everything we do. It doesn’t mean that we have to be perfect at everything, but it does mean that the things we are called to do should be done in excellence. The first step is kicking out the burdens that we really do not need to take on. This leaves room for the things that really matter.
The next thing is a rather touchy subject from what I’ve noticed but I’ll go ahead anyways. There is no reason why a woman called by God to be a wife and mother has to go around frumpy, grumpy, moody, and miserable. There just is no reason for it. It takes 10 minutes to do a simple hairstyle (I know cuz I discovered a few out of necessity!), and 5 minutes to do a quick make-up job. It doesn’t take a shopping spree at the mall to find stylish clothes. I get most of my clothes second-hand for unbelievably low prices. And as far as weight loss? Making (or getting at the store) healthy meals for the family and moving about in the daily routine is a good start!
And most importantly is our spiritual lives. Too many times I've gotten so bogged down and gone throughout my whole day without spending time in worship or prayer or anything. Maybe I'll listen to music, but listening to music and worship are two different things. Even if I can actually pray and worship while folding laundry or taking the time to pray over my child as I'm putting her to sleep or study while baby naps (or in some cases, while children are at school or what-not), these are the things that put that spiritual zest back in our day. I know that listening to my iPod as I go to sleep or starting my day listening and truly worshipping while doing morning chores, these things really make my day so much more fulfilling and my mood is much better. Praise is like getting dressed for the day, it really makes a difference!
Did I mention it’s around 1am and I’m in pjs with the TV flipped on? We all have bad days, we’re going to have bad days since we belong to that race of human. But instilling healthy patterns is a start. The general statistic is that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so let’s start forming some healthy patterns. Our families need us, God gave us the husband and child(ren) that we have and He knows in Him we’re more than capable of being excellent wives and mothers. Let’s trust that He knew what He was doing when He made our dreams come true. Feel confident about who you are and show it! For you, for your husband and children, and for the glory of God. Let’s be women of excellence!
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